Congratulations! You've made an incredible decision to elope, and I couldn’t be more excited for you! Choosing an intimate, adventurous wedding experience is a bold and beautiful choice—one that so many traditional couples later wish they had made. You’re already ahead of the game!
While you and your partner are thrilled, you may be wondering how to break the news to your family and friends. It’s natural to worry about their reactions, but remember: this is your day. Communicating your decision with confidence and excitement will help them understand that your choice is about celebrating your love in a way that feels right for you—not about excluding them.
Remember Your Reasons for Eloping
When talking to family and friends, it can be helpful to share the heartfelt reasons behind your decision. Here are some of the most common reasons couples choose to elope:
You want to spend your wedding day focused on each other, not on hosting guests.
You prefer to say your vows privately, without an audience.
You’d rather invest in an unforgettable experience than a large event.
You want to save money for a house, travel, or other big goals.
You don’t want to feel pressured by a strict wedding timeline.
You’ve always dreamed of getting married in an epic location.
You want to incorporate an adventurous activity like hiking, off-roading, kayaking, or camping.
You want a stress-free, relaxed wedding day.
You simply don’t want to wait any longer to be married!
How to Tell Your Family & Friends You’re Eloping
No matter how close you are with your family, telling them you’re eloping can feel nerve-wracking. The good news? There’s no “right” or “wrong” way to share the news. Here are some approaches to consider:
1. Drop Hints Early
If you think certain family members may struggle with your decision, start dropping subtle hints. Talk about how much you love the idea of an intimate wedding or share stories about other couples who eloped. This can help ease them into the idea before you officially announce it.
2. Have a Personal Conversation
For close family and friends, consider telling them in person or via a video call. Express your excitement and explain why eloping feels right for you. When they see how happy you are, it can help them feel more supportive.
3. Use the “In-the-Moment” Approach
If a relative asks for the 100th time, “So when’s the big day?”—use it as an opportunity to share your plans! Keep it lighthearted and confident. You could say something like, “Actually, we’re planning something super special—just the two of us! We’re so excited to do it our way.”
4. Frame It as Part of an Adventure
If you’re tying the knot in an epic location, you can casually mention, “We’ve been planning a trip to Utah, and we realized it’s the perfect place to get married!” This frames your elopement as an adventure rather than a decision that excludes them.
5. Send a ‘We Got Married!’ Announcement
If you’re worried about negative reactions beforehand, you can wait to share the news until after your elopement. Sending a beautiful announcement with stunning photos will allow loved ones to share in your excitement—without any pre-wedding stress.
Ways to Include Family & Friends (Even If They’re Not There)
Just because you're eloping doesn't mean your loved ones can’t be part of the experience in some way. Here are some creative ways to include them:
Live stream or record the ceremony so they can watch later.
Ask them to write letters for you to read on your wedding day.
Video call them before or after your ceremony to share the moment.
Let them help plan a post-elopement celebration or host a watch party for your wedding photos and videos.
Send a personalized announcement with photos and a heartfelt message about your elopement experience.
Handling Family Reactions with Grace
Some family members might initially struggle with your decision. That’s okay! Change can be hard, and weddings are deeply emotional events for many parents and relatives. If they express disappointment, try to respond with love and reassurance:
Acknowledge their feelings while standing firm in your decision: “I understand this isn’t what you expected, but this is truly what makes us happiest.”
Reassure them that they matter to you: “Just because we’re eloping doesn’t mean we don’t love and appreciate you. We can’t wait to celebrate with you afterward!”
Give them something to look forward to, like a post-elopement dinner, slideshow, or printed wedding album.
Final Thoughts: It’s YOUR Day!
Your wedding is about celebrating your love in a way that feels right for you. While it’s natural to want your family’s support, remember that their opinions don’t outweigh your happiness. Most importantly, don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for choosing a wedding that aligns with your dreams.
And hey—if you need to, you can always say “Blame the photographer!” 😉
Ready to start planning your dream elopement? Let’s make it happen! Reach out, and let’s talk about creating the perfect adventure for you.
Ready to begin planning your dream wedding?
I'm Carly, a destination wedding and elopement photographer + planning guide who's documented weddings from Hawaii to Scotland. My top priority on elopement days is to help you create an experience, not just deliver great photos. I want to tell your wedding story, share the emotions you felt that day and the fun you shared together, and provide you with memories that you'll love forever. And in addition to photography, I'll also provide:
✓ Location Scouting & Research
✓ Vendor Recommendations
✓ Customized Timeline Building
✓ Activity Recommendations
✓ Assistance with Permits
✓ An exclusive elopement planning guide
If you're ready to take the first step towards your best day ever, fill out the contact form on my site! We'll talk about all of the possibilities, ease your mind of any hesitations you may still have about eloping, and get planning!
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